An Emotional Hole

An Emotional Hole

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway and began to sob uncontrollably.

The other three gathered around him and asked: "What's wrong?"

Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. "I'm sorry, I always get emotional at this hole - it holds very difficult memories for me."

One of his buddies asked: "What happened?" "What could have gotten you so upset?"

Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, "This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack; right at this very hole!"

"Oh my God," the other golfers said; "That must have been horrible!"

"Horrible? You think it's horrible?"

Bob cried in disbelief; "It was worse than that!!!!"

"Every hole for the rest of the day, all the way back to the clubhouse it was…
hit the ball, drag Alice, hit the ball, drag Alice…"

Mad Cow Disease Explained

A female TV reporter arranged for an interview
With a farmer living just outside Cornerbrook,
Newfoundland, to find the main cause of the Mad
Cow Disease.

The Lady: Good evening, sir. I am here to collect
Information on the possible source of Mad Cow
Disease. Can you offer any reason for this
Disease?

The Farmer stared at the reporter and said:
Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only
Once a year?

The lady reporter (obviously embarrassed):
Well, sir, that's a new piece of information, but
what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad
Cow disease?

The Farmer: And, madam, do you know that we
Milk a cow twice a day?

The reporter: Sir, this is really valuable information,
But what about getting to the point?

The Farmer: I am getting to the point, madam.
Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day
And only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?

Young Woman in Tight Skirt

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to
take the step, only to discover that she couldn’t.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, “How dare you touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!”

The Texan smiled and drawled, “Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind’a figured we was friends.”