Loving Husband & to Those who Value Peace

August 18, 2006 20068 5:59 pm | In Funny, SARA | 1 Comment

Well, as reported by Howsy, SARA was "hacked" but thank God, not alot of damage was done - It's simply a replacement of the index.htm file and luckily, the files were not affected. Security hole has been patched and everything has returned to normal within 19 minutes of the reported incident.

Apologies to all who weren't able to access SARA for the latest blog entries by Southeast Asian bloggers and also those who weren't able to make even more damage. Just to reaffirm SARA's status - it has no connections with Zionists, Hezbollah, Americans or whatever besides some jokes written by its owner on his own personal blog.

Anyway, cheer up, I know the war is bad and has angered many but this points out the need for tolerance among all and a need to look beyond religion & race. So, here's a joke for my poor friend out there who needs to hack my site to express him/herself:

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.

The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

Decomposing Mozart!

August 13, 2006 20068 7:21 am | In Funny | Comments Off

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noises coming from the area where Mozart was buried.

Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it.
The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave,
listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony,And it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh… the
Sixth…the Fifth…" Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the
cemetery.

"My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."

Genie in a House!

August 11, 2006 20068 9:32 pm | In Funny | Comments Off

A twist on the genie in a bottle story =)

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf…. Of course,
the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the
biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go
up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is
going to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm
voice said,"Come on in."

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was
all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side
near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my
window?" "Uh…yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband
replied. "Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You
see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand
years.

Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll
give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one
for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said.

He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year
for the rest of my life." "No problem," said the genie. "You've got it,
it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like
to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the
world," she said. "Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes
will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And! now," the couple asked in unison, what's your wish, genie? "Well,
since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in
more than a thousand years, my wish is to have it off with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both
now have a fortune, and all those houses, what do you think?"

She mulled it over for a few moments and said,
"You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I
wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the same for
you!"

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of
the afternoon enjoying each other. After about three hours of non-stop
enjoyment, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and
asked, "How old are you and your husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

"No kidding." He said, "Thirty-five years old and both of you still
believe in genies?

BitTorrent faster than HTTP download on Streamyx?

August 10, 2006 20068 4:23 pm | In Personal, Tech | 7 Comments

Half-a-week already since I've been back in Malaysia - adjusted ok to the weather, finally got to do some driving, jet lag's gone i think, shocked at all the crimes happening all over Malaysia and also find it weird that bittorrent speed does not match with http download speeds on Streamyx.

I'm on the Basic Plan (512kbps) and here are some screenshots of the downloads (average speeds):

http download:

BT:

Anyone has any idea on how to speed up http downloads? OpenDNS doesn't seem to help much, EventID 4226 patcher helped abit - is there anything I missed out?

Anyway, since the internet's so slow here, I've started reading now and the book called "Why Do Men Have Nipples" seemed pretty interesting. Here's something funny:

WHY DOES YOUR PEE SMELL WHEN YOU EAT ASPARAGUS?
Asparagus contains a sulfur compound called mercaptan. It is also found in onions, garlic, rotten eggs, and in the secretions of skunks. The signature smell occurs when this substance is broken down in your digestive system. Not all people have the gene for the enzyme that breaks down mercaptan, so some of you can eat all the asparagus you want without stinking up the place. One study published in theBritish Journal of Clinical Pharmacology found that only 46 percent of British people tested produced the odor while 100 percent of French people tested did.

the Brits will love this.

What is Tragedy?

August 10, 2006 20068 7:07 am | In Funny | 2 Comments

President George Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a tragedy.

One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy". "No," says Bush, "that would be an ACCIDENT." A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS”. The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.

President Bush searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. & Mrs. Bush, were struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, by a terrorist like Osama bin Laden, that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic," exclaims Bush, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a TRAGEDY?" "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly wouldn't be a great loss."