A Fun Pic!

Stare at this picture for a while, a cute giraffe will appear! No scary pics here, I promise!

How many times?

An Indonesian and a Thai were seated next to a Malaysian on an overseas flight. After a few drinks, the men began discussing their sex lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Indonesian bragged, "and this morning she made me a delicious breakfast and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Thai responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the Malaysian remained silent, the Indonesian smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?" "Once," he replied. "Only once?" the Thai arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."

10 things all drivers should know about motorcycles!

Driving in KL/Selangor sure is nerve-wrecking. Motorbikes are all over, swerving here and there at high speed and moms who fetch their children to school are sometimes trying to commit suicide, they don't look at side mirrors!!!

Anyway, for the past few weeks, if my brakes weren't working that well, I could have killed about 12 motorbikers and probably killed 4 or 5 housewives and their children. Need to train my eyes to spot these dangerous drivers soon, so I found this article from the web titled "10 things all drivers should know about motorcycles", might help for some of you bloggers who drive as well:

1. There are a lot more cars and trucks than motorcycles on the road, and some drivers don't "recognize" a motorcycle; they ignore it (usually unintentionally). Look for motorcycles, especially when checking traffic at an intersection.

2. Because of its small size, a motorcycle may look farther away than it is. It may also be difficult to judge a motorcycle’s speed. When checking traffic to turn at an intersection or into (or out of) a driveway, predict a motorcycle is closer than it looks.

3. Because of its small size, a motorcycle can be easily hidden in a car’s blind spots (door/roof pillars) or masked by objects or backgrounds outside a car (bushes, fences, bridges, etc). Take an extra moment to thoroughly check traffic, whether you're changing lanes or turning at intersections.

4. Because of its small size a motorcycle may seem to be moving faster than it really is. Don't assume all motorcyclists are speed demons.

5. Motorcyclists often slow by downshifting or merely rolling off the throttle, thus not activating the brake light. Allow more following distance, say 3 or 4 seconds. At intersections, predict a motorcyclist may slow down without visual warning.

6. Turn signals on a motorcycle usually are not self-canceling, thus some riders, (especially beginners) sometimes forget to turn them off after a turn or lane change. Make sure a motorcycle's signal is for real.

7. Motorcyclists often adjust position within a lane to be seen more easily and to minimize the effects of road debris, passing vehicles, and wind. Understand that motorcyclists adjust lane position for a purpose, not to be reckless or show off or to allow you to share the lane with them.

8. Maneuverability is one of a motorcycle's better characteristics, especially at slower speeds and with good road conditions, but don't expect a motorcyclist to always be able to dodge out of the way.

9. Stopping distance for motorcycles is nearly the same as for cars, but slippery pavement makes stopping quickly difficult. Allow more following distance behind a motorcycle because it can't always stop "on a dime."

10. When a motorcycle is in motion, don't think of it as motorcycle; think of it as a person.

Ze Art Thief…

This has to be the corniest joke I've heard so far:

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:

(brace yourself)

(this is going to hurt.)

"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

1o Ways you know your Streamyx connection is a little slow…

1. Text on Web pages displays as Morse Code

2. Graphics arrive via DHL

3. You believe a heavier string might improve your connection

4. You post a message to your favorite newsgroup and it displays a week later

5. Your credit card expires while ordering online

6. ESPN Web site exhibits "Man U Wins the Premier League" …for 2003

7. You're still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "PacMan"

8. Everyone you talk to on the 'net phone' sounds like Forrest Gump

9. You receive e-mails with stamps on them

10. When you click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out.

yeah…i exaggerated…but it's really bloody slow!