Hypermarket wars!

September 4, 2006 20069 2:36 pm | In Funny |

If you've seen/read about the recent hypermarket wars recently in USJ, there could be a scenario like this in the future:

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Ah Chong says to Mutu behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mutu replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Giant. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten ringgit. . A lot cheaper than a doctor you know!"

So, Ah Chong deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Giant.

He deposits ten ringgit, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Giant."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Ah Chong began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Ah Chong hurries back to Giant, eager to check the results. He deposits ten ringgit, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Giant!