Present

For his birthday Little Matt asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is £80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw Little Matt heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Matt told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.

And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with an £80,000 mortgage and no f**king bike!"